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To:

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

Reasons:

-I do physical labor

-I work at great depths

-I plunge head first into everything I do

-I do not get weekends off or public holidays

-I work in a damp environment

-I don’t get paid overtime

-I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

-I work in high temperatures

-My work exposes me to contagious diseases

******************* Replay *******************

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments

You have raised, the administration rejects your request for the

Following reasons:

-You do not work 8 hours straight

-You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods

-You do not always follow the orders of the management team

-You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas

-You do not take initiative

-You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

-You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift

-You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations,

      such as wearing the correct protective clothing

-You’ll retire well before reaching 65

-You’re unable to work double shifts

-You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have

      Completed the day’s work

-And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and

             Leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely

The Pussy

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