Subject: You Know You're Hispanic When....
*YOU KNOW YOUR HISPANIC IF...
*IF YOU GREW UP SCARED OF SOMETHING CALLED "EL CUCO."
*IF YOU'VE EVER LEFT GRASS FOR THE CAMELS ON THE NIGHT OF JANUARY 6TH
INSTEAD OF LEAVING COOKIES AND MILK FOR SANTA ON CHRISTMAS...
*IF DINNER USUALLY CONSISTS OF RICE, BEANS AND SOME KIND OF MEAT.
*IF YOU WERE RAISED ON GOYA PRODUCTS.
*IF YOU HAVE EVER USED YOUR NOSE OR LIPS TO POINT SOMETHING OUT.
*IF YOU'VE EVER DROPPED FOOD ON THE FLOOR, PICKED IT UP, ATE IT AFTER
SAYING, "LO QUE NO MATA ENGORDA."
*IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN HIT BY A CHANCLETA.
*IF YOU CONSTANTLY REFER TO CORN FLAKES AS "CON FLAY."
*IF OTHERS TELL YOU TO STOP SCREAMING WHEN YOUR REALLY TALKING.
*IF YOU'VE EVER GONE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE WITH ROLOS AND CHANCLETAS.
*IF WHENEVER YOU ARE ANGRY, YOU SPOUT OFF A TORRENT OF "CONO," "PUNETA,"AND "CARAJO."
*IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN HIT WITH EITHER THE CORD OF A PLANCHA OR LA CORREA.
*IF YOU KNOW YOUR MOM IS SNEAKING UP ON YOU BECAUSE YOU HEAR THE CLACK CLACK OF HER CHANCLETAS.
*IF YOUR MOTHER YELLS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS TO CALL YOU TO DINNER AND YOU LIVE IN A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT.
*IF YOU CAN GET TO YOUR HOUSE BLINDFOLDED BECAUSE THE SMELL OF CHULETAS IS SO STRONG.
*IF YOUR HOUSE HAS ALL OF THOSE LITTLE FIGURINES THAT TAKE UP EVERY INCH OF SPACE ON/UNDER THE TV AND YOU HAVE EITHER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
A PORCELAIN CAT, DOG, COQUI, OR ELEPHANT IN YOUR LIVINGROOM.
*IF YOUR SOFA IS COVERED IN PLASTIC.
*IF YOU NOT ONLY KNOW WHO DON FRANCISCO (FROM SABADO GIGANTE!) IS, BUT TELL PEOPLE HE IS YOUR TIO.
*IF YOUR MOTHER, TIA, OR HERMAMA'S HAIR'S HAIR IS BLACKCHERRY, "SUNNI," RED, OR A BURGUNDY THAT WOULD MAKE CELIA CRUZ JEALOUS.
*IF YOUR TITI THINKS THAT BUTTERFLY CLIPS ARE ON VOGUE'S HOT LIST FOR HAIR ACCESSORIES.
*IF YOU GO TO A WEDDING OR QUINCEANERA (SWEET16), GOSSIP ABOUT HOW BAD THE COMIDA IS, BUT ARE THE FIRST ONE TO TAKE A PLATE TO GO.
*IF YOU THINK LAURA CAN BEAT OPRAH ANY DAY.
*IF YOU CAN DANCE MERENGUE, BACHATA, CUMBIA, AND SALSA WITHOUT MUSIC.
*IF YOU USE MANTECA INSTEAD OF OLIVE OIL AND CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY YOUR ASS IS GETTING BIGGER
*IF YOU JUST CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE NOT LIKING SPANISH FOOD
*IF YOU'VE BEEN IN A TWO PASSENGER CAR WITH OVER SEVEN PEOPLE IN IT, WITH ONE PERSON SHOUTING OUT "CABEN MAS!"
*IF YOU CALL YOUR SNEAKERS "TENIS."
*IF YOU HAVE AT LEAST THIRTY COUSINS.
*IF YOU START CLAPPING WHEN YOUR PLANE LANDS ON THE RUNWAY.
*IF YOU SAY CRAZY THINGS LIKE "ME CAGO EN DIEZ," YOUR PROBABLY BORICUA.
*IF YOU CONSIDER PLATANOS TO BE A FOOD GROUP. YOUR PROBABLY DOMINICAN.
*IF YOU LIVE IN "GUASHINTON HEIGHTS," YOU'RE PROBABLY DOMINICAN. (LMAO)
*IF YOU UNDERSTOOD ALL OF THESE, YOU'RE DEFINITELY HISPANIC.
PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE HISPANICS IN.....